


Things we say

by 1toomany



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, I apologize in advance, M/M, Seasons 5 and 6 never happened ok?, This Is STUPID, and probably sucks, brief mention of 3x06, i have no fucking idea where this came from, oh well, written in second person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:05:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6194530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1toomany/pseuds/1toomany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want the gun back, Mickey.<br/>That's how it starts. The neighborhood thug, a boy who went through his entire life with 'hit first then ask questions' , who carries the statement  on his knuckles to prove it, who comes from a familiy of crooks and homophobs is now pliant under you, his thighs firm around your back and his hands touching every inch of your skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things we say

**Author's Note:**

> No idea why I wrote this. No idea.

_I want the gun back, Mickey_.

That's how it starts. The neighborhood thug, a boy who went through his entire life with 'hit first then ask questions' , who carries the statement on his knuckles to prove it, who comes from a family of crooks and homophobes is now pliant under you, his thighs firm around your back and his hands touching every inch of your skin. You thrust into him while he demands _harder, harder;_  you give it to him. And when he bites his lips and you can feel his entire body shake while his nails dig into your back, white spurs coating your stomachs, you thrust once more and you're coming.

You've had sex before, you've had orgasms strong enough to make you black out but this is different. This is different because you have never had this kind of electricity go through you body, your toes have never curled the way they do right this moment, as you fill up the condom, watching him close his eyes and smile. And you know you did right.

You want to do it again.

*

_Got any Slim Jims in this shithole?_

You fuck him again when he comes to the store one day. You're not an idiot, you know he isn't here to steal yet another Snicker's bar. And while  you're holding his hips with the force you never knew you had in you and he's whispering _come on, harder, yeah, just like that,_ you press your body against his and lick the tiny droplet of sweat on the back of his neck. He reaches behind and takes your hand, pulling it around his waist to his dripping cock and you jerk him one, two, three times and he's coming. The moans he lets go create the sweetest music in your ears and the way his hole is tight around your dick is just too much and you let go.

You definitely want to do it again.

*

 _You're nothing but a warm mouth to me_.

That can't be right, can it? He can't think of you being nothing more than a warm mouth, can he? You've seen the way he smiles when he's around you. You know how his body reacts to yours, you notice with a glimpse of your eye when his abs clench as your head  moves slowly down towards the bulge in his boxers, anticipation showing in his eyes; how when you take him into your mouth he grips your hair tighter and arches his back and there's that sweet music filling your ears and there's nowhere you'd rather be than here at the baseball field with your lips stretched around his cock while he moans your name over and over again. And it's hot, it's like you're caught in the middle of the fire and it's slowly spreading and you can feel it getting hotter and hotter and you know you will get burned but you don't run. You want this, you want him. _You want him_.

He doesn't think you are just a warm mouth.

*

 _He isn't afraid to kiss me_.

You know why you said that, no need to pretend. You want him to take that step, oh _God_ , you want him to press his lips against yours, want to taste him because that's the only thing  missing. And when he surprises you and does it, it's nothing more than a soft touch of lips on lips, so innocent and pure but it makes your head spin. You can taste cigarettes and beer  long after he flips you off and runs inside that house. And you think now it all came into place.

You couldn't believe how wrong you were.

*

You sleep over at his place and it's the best night of your life. Your hands are around his waist when you wake up, your lips on the back of his neck. You want to stay in his bed forever.

*

You watch his father 's bloody hands as they reach for the gun. You cry as he flips the whore and pounds into her, her legs around his back and hands on his neck. You want to run, run from this horror; so you do. You keep running and running but the look in his eyes after she sits on him stays with you. You know that no matter how far you go, you will never get far enough from that look.

You cry yourself to sleep that night.

*

 _Don't_.

It's a simple whisper crossing his lips but you know you can't take it anymore. You need to leave, leave this town, leave your past behind. _Leave him_. You watch him struggle to speak because you know it can't end up like this. You are both too far gone to call it just a fuck. And it's so fucking selfish of you to turn your back to him but feelings for him are much to strong to be left somewhere deep inside because you know he feels the same. He loves you, even if he doesn't understand it yet, but you understand. _Not everyone gets to just blurt out how they fucking feel every minute._

The problem is, he's not free. And you yet again don't want to be another pretty boy who becomes someone's skeleton int he closet. You are more than that. You deserve more than that.

You lean on the seat int hat bus and close your eyes, remembering his tongue on your neck.

*

 _I love you_.

When you see him in the club while stranger's hands hold your hips down and the music is pounding into your ears it all comes back. All the shit you'd done in Basic, all the meaningless fucks, strange apartments you've been waking up in lately without even knowing how you got there… It all dissapears the second he looks at you with those beautiful blue eyes and suddenly you're back in his room again, kissing him, laughing with him, _loving him._

He comes out because you tell him to, because you've decided that if you're gonna do this, you're gonna do it right. The last thing you think about is his safety and him, you are selfish, you know that. But you can't help it. You love him too much to let him go once again.

You kiss his hair (because you still refuse to believe that not even an hour ago you were ready to close that door). Because that's the only thing you can really do, words are not important right now, they carry no weight. The smile you get in return tells you things will be alright.

That night, you can feel him watching you while his hand roams over your skin and settles on your chest, just above your heart.

 _I love you,_ he says.

You open your eyes, put your hand on top of his. You see it, you finally see the love that's been hidden deep down but you've somehow managed to open the gate and let it out. And for the first time in your life you are absolutely certain that it is there to stay.

And you have never felt happier.


End file.
